haiz...wad a bad day today. hmms firstly i want thx canoeist for ur concern,i wun let u guys down,i noe u guys will be there for me..and also joyce,thx for cheering me up. haiz today my mind very mixed up,all the bad thoughts in my mind,and most importantly,i m missing her,though i m wif her,haiz dun0 how explain. she went to fnd me in the class for 1st brk,wooo,i damn happy,but i saw him wif a guy , i have nth against him,he is a nice guy too,but i am juz jealous haiz,when will i learnt,and my jealousy got over my mind,i attitude her abit,i confessed,haiz when can i stop hurting her,i wan u good .nvm i will learn,i wanna learn to be by ur side doing all sorts of thing for ur well-being,and not wanting any return.i will do that i believe. she has already be a princess in my life,i wanna care 4 her, i wanna take care of her,but i am afraid she might feel weird,haiz yst nelson mention some guys name that i tink she like,its been running thru my mind. den still got the kenneth and them problem,i dun0 how to handle,i really hope we will be the same as last time la.but i noe its impossible,joyce u noe it hurts me see u like tt,i am hurt u noe,i dun wan u troubled,if i can i rather its all me,den u can live happier rite,anyway juz hate me and suffer, and u can live a happy life but i cant,i wan be by ur side supporting u thru all the way,i cannnt lose my stands,i am clinging on to the edge just to care for u. haiz i noe when we go back to level 4 i walked away,becoz u said "go away". my hart is bleeding u noe,dun hurt me like tt can? i walked away wif sadness,i want to die u noe.u noe at the moment i feel like pulling u to one corner and tell u all my feelings,i really hav alot to say to u.my frens keep ask me why am i sad,i replied "no la,nth" but its u,i am afraid someday u might juz hate me and juz like ur nick,smile and walk away. haiz wads a medal to others?? their effort?? their sweat?? their glory?? to me its not...its about trying to win smth becoz i believe that u live in my hart,i wan win smth becoz of u,i wan u to be my reason why. tts why i wanted to win so much.
joyce u noe how i feel not? sometimes i really am afraid u may juz cleanly forgotten me,u r so impt to me,i noe u r the girl i wan,thou i may not be the one u wan...but as long as possible,i would want to try my best to do things for u,everything may gone to drain,but at least,i tried,i tried to do smth for the one i love so much.haiz its so pain looking at ur face w/o a smile,i wish i can juz hug u and protect u frm anything and bring u to ur happiness,but i am not so powerful, cant. hope u wun so much troubles,i will help u thru ur troubles i wan u happy,trust my word my love for u arent say say only,i will prove it. i am sorry i am selfish,i wanna spend time wif u alone,i will change,i will juz be by ur side silently nxt time,i will change for u. i can just hope u will love me someday,but i dun force u,because i rather me being sad alone than u suffer,in my mind U will always be before me...
i wan to share this song "xiao chou yu" by luo zhi xiang wif u...
this song is abt a clown fish that loves a girl,and the girl is wif other guy,and the fish can juz swim around the girl and protect and care for her,and the girl cannt see the fish sadness,and its holding on for long.and all along the fish is juz pinning on an impossible hope.and the fish is juz contented to bring the girl happiness,and it will accept the fact tt they can juz be fren,and always waiting for the girl.... =( joyce i love u so much...haiz i m holding on...the sadness is nth compared to ur happiness =)
